Skin & bones...nothing more, maybe less.

On my way to the Classroom 1 building this morning for my 7 AM final, i saw a girl. You know how when you're walking vertically and another person is coming horizontally and you almost intersect as you become closer? That's what happened, but i didn't notice her physique until after we passed. I swear to god, I have never seen such a skinny, bony, lanky girl (in real life). It amazed me how she even found jeans that fit her form so tightly. Honestly, how could ANYONE find thinness like that to be attractive? Would any guy want to even come close for fear of breaking her, or getting poked with a protruding bone? I almost felt sorry for her. She looked like she weighed about 80 lbs. I thought to myself that I'd rather have my semi-curvy figure than one like hers. My whole perspective on losing weight changed this morning, and i'm genuinely happy with the figure that I was given.

Bizarre morning

This morning seemed like any other Friday before i left for class. As i turned the corner in my apartment complex there was a squirrel lying in a pool of it's own blood, in the middle of the road. Then on Alafaya, I was stopped at a light and a police officer came speeding up behind the group of cars around me, passed us and went on it's way. As soon as i turned onto the actual campus i saw that same cop car, pulled up next tow a fire engine and an ambulance. Seems that a P. T. Cruiser drove into a bush. Haha, yeah. Like, random bush in the grass not even by the road. I passed thinking that someone must have simply fallen asleep at the wheel. I approach the parking garage i always park in, and am sitting in the turning lane, to soon discover that the Saturn first in line to turn, has broken down.

It was just a really weird morning..

I vow:

I vow: To be in a good mood when i go home for Thanksgiving.

Easier said than done when my family is going to have a total of 20 people at Thanksgiving dinner (3:00 in the afternoon.) Yup, i have one of those families where my aunt invites EVERYONE over. All of her friends, my brother's girlfriend and her family, etc. Twenty people in one house is a problem alone, not taking into consideration the massive amounts of food that will acompany us all. Two 28-ish or something pound turkey's, numerous boxes of Bell stuffing (best kind EVER) and countless sweet potatoes, the list goes on & on.

I will not be bitter! (hopefully)
I'm going to bring my camera and, again hopefully, take some good candid's?

Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully.

?

I woke up at 7am by paws on my face..

I really dislike when people in other cars looks at me when I'm driving. But, i guess if i see them looking at me, it's because i'm looking at them?

I can't wait for Thanksgiving..

The little things

The little things are what matter most. I can't help but think that too many people have forgotten that and have gotten caught in the chaos of technolgical advances and speed. I saw 5 cars in a row today, all of which drivers were on their cell phones. Also, people are constantly in a rush to get places. Can't people slow it down just a tad and be a little more courtious? It's refreshing to actually drive the speed limit on Alafaya (or 5 over), enjoy a good CD, and the remarkably low $2.03 gas prices. Take a break from you speedy rushed life and think about the small things that so many people look over! You'll feel better about yourself, or atleast I do.

The other day on my way home from psychology i saw a plastic bag floating in the wind on the side of the road. Not touching the pavement at all, just floating. JUST like in American Beauty; which that was the best scene in that film, by far (the plastic bag part). It made me smile.

THANK YOU TIM FLYNN for bringing my Bella Love up here <3

Thank You Aunt Beverly.

I'm a bad blogger. I don't know what to blog about, so I'll just vent.

So, since my aunt is now "retired" from her CT art teaching job and moved down to Fort Myers with my uncle (living next to my mom and grandma driving them insane) she has all of this extra time on her hands. Therefore, she's been volunteering at the Red Cross place? Taking classes and i don't know what else, other than quite possibly ruining my mental health. Sure this is an exaggeration, somewhat. I guess she's turned all "buddy-buddy" with this previous Navy-going, anime drawing, 23 year old. That's nice, until she starts talking to him about me, and telling him that I'D like to hang out with him when i go back home to visit. Uh, What? I've never met this kid. He's 5 years older than me. For all i know he could be a rapist. "He's essentially a stranger to me, i don't want to hang out with him!"
"Don't be ridiculous," she says.
Next thing i know, he's finding, messaging, and adding me on facebook. I'm basically stuck. I can't just blow him off, because my aunt sees him all the time and i'm sure raves about how "nice" of a girl i am. Psh. UGH. Plus she's all for me hanging out with him, because he's "the sweetest thing"
I'm just not interested! UGHUGUUGHUGHHHHHHHUGHHHUUUUUGH.
I don't care AT ALL for being "set up" on a "blind date" with a 23 year old, by my aunt. No thank you. No thanks. Pass. This has caused me to hunker into a mild depression.

At least i'm getting this kitten. Thank jesus. (& Thank Timothy Flynn for driving my luh-ver up to Orlando!)

I'm not re-reading this, so just know, I'm fully aware there are numerous mistakes in the previous typed "story."

Good day.

Deja Vu

As i was escaping Comp 1 this morning for some reason i was swept over with deja vu. I'm not sure why, but it felt like it was a point in time i had in a dream a while back. Weird. I skipped College Algebra. I was just not "feelin' it" on this specific day. I've been in a sort of funk for the past few days.

I wish so hard that i would open my box and actually see a letter from someone. Not just anyone but, someone in particular. I don't know. It's kind of disappointing, but i guess i shouldn't let it bother me. If they only knew how MUCH i would loveeee to receive something. How many letters or boxes can i send before getting any sort of response (not counting Facebook message "I got your letter." Honestly, I feel like I am having a conversation with myself that i just send miles away for someone else to read. Whatever, i can't make someone write to me. And i can't make myself move on either. Ugh!

I swear I'm reading my potential future in the book: Love The One You're With
It's a fantastic book, but it's almost depressing because i feel lilke it's the story of my life (or what it will be)

Sigh

Pink eye

For the first time in my life, i have become infected with pink eye. I went to the UCF Health Center this morning as soon as i awoke, after a frigid night of The Shining outside of the arena. They gave me drops; no contacts or mascara for a week. How lovely is that?

I officially LOVE sending letters. For some reason it makes me feel better; relief, perhaps? I'm not sure, but, it's so neat and old fashioned. The fact that the receiver won't get it until around 4 days after the fact makes me feel like i live in the past. I think that's so cool! Plus, i believe it has more meaning that simply communicating over the internet or e-mail. I hope i don't annoy anyone i'm sending notes to, but I know that it would brighten my day to get a letter from someone! Something about opening my mailbox and finding a hand written letter from a friend conjures immense excitement. I'm pretty positive I'm a creep.

Yesterday there was a squirrel right outside of one of my windows on the roof! It was completely still; i took a picture. Hey, wow, I'm so pathetic.

Sweet relief

I am livin' the single life once again! Thank goodness.

p.s.- I don't plan on being in another stupid relationship for a long while.

I am going to

fucking. throw. up.

Candle wicks are made of braided cotton.

Everytime i have to spend 2 or more straight days with a couple of people, I think of how much i like my personal time. I am introvert to the extreme. I feel kind of bad about it, but I can't help that i love my Liz time! I suppose it's just a comfort issue. I like being able to do whatever, whenever I want. Go places in a split second; sing along (horribly) to songs i love. I just added an immense amount of music to my itunes, so I'm excited for a good listen!

I also love,

Being single? Relationships and i just don't work. Never have, probably never really will. I shall remain a dog lady for the rest of my life (dogs > cats)

Anyways, in addition to that i also love sending letters! And receiving them, but that never happens. (with the exception of a little card from my mom every now and again)

Isn't sending an actual letter more meaningful? I think it is. Someone actually took the time to go buy notecards, envelopes, and stamps! All for you! Is it just me who can't help but smile when they get a letter that's not business related? It brightens my day.

I love

Iced coffee
moth/butterfly tattoos
carving pumkins (even though i hate Halloween)
cold weather
good moods
not rain
blonde hair
music
Joshua Radin
NOT PSYCH QUIZZES

Delete.

I kind of really would love to delete some of my previous blogs for reason of them depressing me in my decisions. But, I believe that would defeat the purpose of blogging, correct? I don't know. Perhaps i'll just post 5 blogs in a row right now, so some of them don't show up. OR i could go edit the number that are shown. Hmm.

Liz has lost her logic

I honestly feel like I have lost my mind lately. I don't know what i am doing. At all. I need to get my priorities straight, get a job, focus on school, and ignore everything else. Everything else just aggrivates me anyways. I hate thinking so much, i always over-think everything. I go over these things in my mind, continuously. It puts me in a "weird" mood. Sometimes i think i'm doing everything wrong. I don't know. What's wrong with me?

A lot.

What. The. Fuck.

"Do you wanna have sex?"

...................

Um, what the fuck. wtf. (is wrong with the male population)

what the fuck?



Seriously though.

Captured by a pirate

Indeed i have been captured by a pirate. I am no longer single! Thank goodness; maybe i'll finally have that lasting, meaningful relationship I've been hoping for. Words could not possibly describe how overjoyed i am. The smile hasn't left my face!

College dorm fire alrams are the loudest, most annoying sound my ears have ever endured.

Blogging is hard to keep up with

At first i thought it would be really easy, but my days have become less and less interesting i suppose! I just had to make a post so it could remain "daily" for Chris. (who is extremely jealous of me)

I'm so happy. SO HAPPY. Ahhhhhh!
I cannot wait for the next like 5 weekends.

:0)

One less

I have to take a weekend trip to Fort Myers The weekend of October 17th, to get my third and final Gardasil shot. After which i will be free from HPV/ cervical cancer (hopefully)! I wasn't excited about this trip at all until CRAIG IS COMING WITH ME.

Yeah, yup. He is. I'm so so so so excited. I'm really, really anticipating that weekend now! He's really nervous, it's cute. I think i'm just as nervous though. Nervous but EXCITED. I think him and my brother will get along splendidly. They are both sports loving, blonde-haired, blue eyed, super polite, cutesie, hat wearers. hahaha.

I'm really happy. Really.

Complacent? I guess that's my mood, I'm not really sure. I feel so sick, and wish i weren't. I'm pretty sure it's a sinus infection. I get overwhelmed with sudden urges to sneeze and then they disappear. Taunting me, driving me insane. I just want to sneeze! Just let me sneeze, it makes me feel so much better! It's like sweet relief. Sweet relief that my stuffed up head is keeping me from!

I just looked at my roses :^) I still cannot believe things like that happen in real life. It seems like something out of a movie! I really am truly happy though, i feel as if i've been in a better mood lately. I feel like everyone i tell my cute story to doesn't get truly excited for me! With the exception of Chris, apparently he woke up thinking about it, haha. Listening to Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton also aid in good moods for me.

So, tonight at 7 pm I'm going to see Julia Alvarez in the Pegasus Ballroom in the student union. (we're going to be quizzed on it) My comp teacher told me i had the perfect commentary topic this morning, that made me happy!

This blog has no true point, i'm just bored i guess. I'm excited for my mom to visit this weekend! She's going to make me her delicious homemade chicken noodle soup (it's phenomenal) plus I'm actually sick, so it'll be like 346589x better!

"UH, Did you do that?"

"Hey, could you do me a favor?" - Craig

"That may depend...what?" - Liz

"I might have left my keys in your car, could you please go check?" - Craig

I open my front door and see a dozen yellow and pink roses placed right in the center of my entry mat. Seriously, I'm pretty sure this is by far THE cutest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I cannot stop smiling. I can't wait to tell my mom, She's going to FREAK (just like I did!)

Tequila?

Oh me oh my, I had an eventful evening last night.
Right now, I'm sitting here, drinking my HOMEMADE iced coffee (Dunkin' Donuts is way better) wondering why I am up this early. I didn't end up going to sleep until 3am or something like that.
Last night was a first experience night, for sure. I went to my first "club"? But really it's a bar, i guess. Uh, man. I went with 2 friends and then 2 other new friends. I was the designated driver, which i volunteered to be! I'd rather not have anyone else drive who had been drinking, but anywho. Yeah, wow, I don't even know. It was kind of boring, i was just sitting at this little raised round table practically the whole time, watching everyone else crowd the bar trying to order drinks.
According to the people i was with, a blue long island iced tea is really good? I tried a single sip, I seriously felt like i was drinking the alcohol i keep in my bathroom and clean my earrings with. I guess i'm just not used to it, AT ALL. Anyways, the other girl with us was super nice (surprisingly nice for such a pretty girl) She spilt beer on Craig, which was funny. And then a bit later she spilt a little something on me, i don't know what it was, she didn't even know it had happened, lol.
Then, her and one of the other kids who went with us started making out, like HARDCORE making out. Like "Oh dang" making out. No joke, people at other tables were looking with this 'is that really happening' looks on their faces. It's the kind of making out people dream of. He was sitting in a chair, and then she got on top of him and was straddling him and they were just going at it.
After that, there was a fight! I don't know if that happens often in those kinds of places, but I saw the whole thing happen, in action. It was intense. However, one of the guys involved was someone i was there with! I guess the other guy said something about 'doing stuff' with the make out girl. We left after he got thrown out.

"How 'bout a kiss?" -drunk person.
Uhhhh..

What's blue Curacao? Is it alcohol? That's the only ingredient in a blue long island iced tea that is potentially NOT alcohol. But see, i do not know if it is or not.

This is why i do not drink. Plus, that one sip didn't even taste good. I'll take plain unsweetened iced tea anyday!


Recap; my first time for:

1. Going to a bar
2. Being a designated driver
3. Having a sip of an alcoholic mixed drink
4. Seeing the best make out that I've ever seen
5. Getting an alcoholic drink spilt on me
6. Observing every part of a real fight
7. Getting asked for a kiss by someone who had been drinking

What an eventful night! Don't you think?

Marriage

I've come to the conclusion that I just want to be married already. Please future husband, hurry up and leave me head over heels! I just want to have that ONE person to share a life with. My life, his life, our future dogs life. Also the children we will have down the road [3 kids] (I've had numerous dreams where I'd be pregnant, and i reallllllllllly enjoyed it. It's scary how much i liked it). The best friend i can be 100% comfortable with and tell everything to.
It seems like my brother always gets lucky with relationships, he's in his second long term relationship, and they're so in love. It's lovely, but I want that too! I want someone to love me enough to drive 4 hours every other weekend just to see me for 1.5 days! I want someone to make me a heart shaped cake. Moreso than any, I want someone to bring on family vacations with me! He always brings his girlfriend on our family vacations, and the rest of the family is always like "Liz, where's your boyfriend/ you don't have a boyfriend?" It kind of makes me feel like there's something wrong with me! Every summer we take a family trip to Maine, where we meet some of our other family that lives in Connecticut still, and stay right on the beach (Old Orchard) for a week. It's fun and i always enjoy myself, but my brother always seems to have a better time. Beaches are meant for couples, or friends; family, not so much. Well, this past summer i missed it because of my Summer B classes, so I'm anticipating next summer more than usual.

I forgot where I was going with this...
I have extremely bad memory.
I hate football.
People do NOT know how to drive, period.
I just spent $63 on groceries, hoorah.
I think you should go listen to The Honorary Title, because they're rad.
I've seen 3 dead animals on roads within two days.
One armadillo, two racoons.

To new beginnings!

Have you ever thought you've been trying to be someone that you're not? I'm starting to think that's the case with me. Little reoccurring events are making me think that I've been morphing my true self for a good 3 years. I'm not sure why; Just to fit in with the people i admire, to be accepted by them, to be included? When in reality I'm not included. I feel like i've been completely cast away. When i hang around certain people i just feel like my presence isn't really "wanted," i don't know. Some may say i over-react, or make a big deal out of something minute, but SO many of these little things have happened, that it's all building up and i can't take much more. I think i need to start surrounding myself with people I feel more comfortable with. Forget all of this. I mean, college is when you're supposed to figure all of this out, right? I'm glad i'm figuring this out now, i'm not sure how much more i could've taken. I can't stand feeling uncomfortable around people, No more! Hopefully there will be new beginnings and new friendships in my future.

The fact that my mom is on a cruise and unable to be contacted is killing me. It makes me realize how much i rely on her and how important she truly is to me. I can't imagine not being so close to her. I can't wait for Monday!

Those were the days!

Sigh

Classes weren't bad today, my comp 1 teacher complimented questions i came up with! I love when that happens. Why must i be so addicted to Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee? (with cream & sugar, of course)
I think i may be coming down with a sinus infection or something. The weather is really nice today, i hope it's like this tomorrow for the football game! It's the first one I'll be attending (i feel guilty about that, since i have season tickets)! I just hope i don't melt tomorrow sitting in the stands at 3 in the afternoon. What else am i doing this weekend? I have 0 plans. It's parents weekend and my family is bording a cruise ship right now, haha. I don't mind, it's going to suck with parents everywhere. I'll probably go to Subway in hopes of seeing the guy who I remind of his brother's fiance.
Why must certain people be attracted to me? I feel like i attract the weirdest guys. No joke. Meagan told me it's because i'm too nice to the fr3aks. I don't like being meannn though. I'm so nervous about people reading my blogs and getting upset, therefore i can't name anyone (by anyone i mean cr33ps) I may just make up secret code names for the cr33ps in my life. Although, if they read it and have any comprehension abilities, they'd know it was them I'd be talking (typing) of. Chris, you're not a cr33p, or a fr3ak, don't worry.
I hate when people look at me when i'm driving, or intentionally go the same speed as me. Fuck car synchronization. Better yet, when someone is sitting in the bed of a truck and i'm driving behind them. OR, when i'm trying to take a left, and a guy pulls up next to me (trying to take a right), and he blocks my view of traffic and looks at me with a creepy smile.
Sniff, sniff (that was my stuffy nose).

Humbling Experiences

Last night on my way to the UCF dorms to watch a movie with some friends, I passed a man walking on the side of the road. He had just gotten off of the bus, and was dressed in what looked like a dressy work uniform. I immediately began to think of how lucky I am to have all that i have, and be healthy. This poor man probably works hard for his money and doesn't even have a car to get to and fro his job. I'm an 18 year old, with a car and my own apartment. Spoiled. But things like seeing that guy makes me realize that things aren't so bad after all, and i am truly happy to be where i am.

Before my humbling experience and after i bought my $4 keds at Goodwill, I went to Subway in Waterford lakes to pick up a quick dinner. I told the dapper young man my order and then he tells me, "You remind me of my brother's fiance." I was caught off gaurd and unsure of what to respond with, but i went with it. He made small talk with me until a slue of other customers poured in. Things such as this give me hope. Hope that there's someone out there for me; that i won't be alone forever. It's just the element of time.

Speaking of people out there for me, I have no idea what i am doing. I went on a date the other night, we had a good time and the guy likes me but I just don't know! Maybe I'm just lonely, or desperate. I'm unsure on my feelings towards this baseball playing, truck driving 18 year old. I feel guilty even going on another date with him (thinking that perhaps one more time will open my eyes and give me a great revelation) I don't want to start something and have it end with someone getting hurt. Maybe i should just wait. But, wait forever? It seems like i'm always waiting. I've been in a funk lately thinking about all of this. I need a sign! Someone please give me a sign!

His roommate, "Butters" (last name Butterfield), is a trip. One of those people where everything that comes out of his mouths makes you laugh, even though it's more like he's always acting drunk. I'm not sure why I included that tidbit of information. It's weird to me that Chris and James are probably reading this. I'm not sure why.

I want a tattoo.

Let's back-track

I'm completely new to blogging, I guess I'm hoping for it to become sort of like, my online journal or something to that degree. Maybe typing my feelings and thoughts will help me in some way? Hopefully. Who knows. So, Bill Clinton is visiting UCF today. You won't see me anywhere near, though. The mass amounts of people, as I escaped from my college algebra class and made my way to my little gold corolla, was insane. Too much nonsense for me to get involved, I've never been huge on politics anyways. It's whatever to me, I'm aware that sounds bad but it's the truth. Was that just a comma splice? My comp teacher gets mad when I comma splice, and i'm pretty sure i do it quite often. Does it matter in blogs? Well, it's not going to for me. It seems like every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after i get out at 10:30, i get an iced coffee (with cream & sugar) from Dunkin' Donuts. I swear it's the best drink on earth (to me). I'm also fully aware that no one is going to end up reading my blogs, with the exception of myself. That's pathetic right? Just as pathetic as one in love with someone who doesn't love you back? That was me for a while too, i think. Who knows. I have no clue. Really. I'm extremely messed up with my over analyzing/ thinking situations.

I'm aware it seems like i used the word aware too often.

Is it pathetic?

Is it pathetic to have one way love?

Let's set up the scenario: One single person claims to be in love with another who doesn't love them back, or even really care. So, the "lover" in this case believes that they are thouroughly happy with loving someone and not being loved back. First off, this just doesn't make sense to me whatsoever; I understand that love has mystical powers (or so i hear) but how could one possibly be content with loving and not being loved back? In my opinion the person who has made themself believe that they do, indeed, love this other figure is fooling themselves. And if not fooling, they're causing themselves pain by being stuck on this one person that they claim to love, whom will never love them in return. Don't be hung up on one person if you know for a fact it won't ever work, there's no point. Move on, and meet someone who you'll love and will love you back. I gaurantee the feelings will be so much more meaningful. Therefore, I believe it IS pathetic to love someone who won't love you back. It's sad, and largely depressing if anything.